Back in the day, when I was a single mom of four, money was painfully tight at times. I would have my regular bills, the kids’ expenses, and then the surprises. Surprise! Your car broke down. Surprise! One kid got hurt and had to go to the ER. Surprise! Your kid was sick, you didn’t have PTO, and you had to miss a day of work. 

Only one of those things had to happen and my budget would be shattered. I could get back on track because I became very adept at making some extra money to cover those bills. If I had money left over from a tax refund or a work bonus, I would put it into savings to help cover emergencies. 

What helped me to keep perspective at that time was my priorities. I had four priorities when making my budget for every paycheck: 

• Rent/mortgage
• Utilities, cell phone, and internet
• Groceries
• Gas to get to work

Now you are thinking that it is rather simplistic. It is. I’m a fairly uncomplicated person when it comes to finances. If those four things were covered, I could figure out where the rest of the money should go. 

I was lucky. I had a roof over my head rent-free thanks to my former parents-in-law. All I had to do was take care of the house and yard (within reason) in exchange for not having to pay rent. So my priorities changed slightly and especially as my kids got older. Those were:

• Utilities, cell phone, and internet
• Groceries
• Gas to get to work
• Insurance (car and renters)

Car and renters insurance were important for a variety of reasons. First of all, car insurance is mandatory under Iowa law. Secondly, I could not afford to replace our possessions in case of a fire or an act of God so renters’ insurance was necessary. Medical insurance was mandated by a divorce decree. I gladly paid for that and it came out of my paycheck pre-tax from my employer. 

I also had childcare for three years and I will write about that in another article because I think it deserves a deep dive. 

What about the other bills? I paid them as I could. I would work out payment plans with the mechanic, dentist, and doctors. I tried as hard as I could not to have credit card debt. However, emergencies arose and that was the only way I could pay sometimes. 

Other expenses also came up because kids are that way sometimes. I would pay for school expenses as they came and if I could afford them. Sometimes, the grandparents helped with those expenses which was great. Otherwise, I would have to say no to those expenses. I would apply every year to qualify for the free and reduced lunch program. If my kids qualified, that would be a blessing to the budget. If they didn’t, they would be taking lunches to school most of the time. 

Why am I telling you all this? Because I try to help people with their finances if I can. I know I am not perfect in mine, but I try to help those who need it. I want to be transparent in what I did with my finances.

One of the biggest issues I see is the lack of prioritization in their budgets and money-making decisions. They simply do not have their priorities straight. Not everyone has the same priorities, but they should be similar. I look at financial priorities like I do a survival situation: shelter, food, water, and heat. I had to keep four kids cared for and those were the necessities that they needed. 

That is why a budget is necessary: it tells your money where it needs to go. 

It can be hard to get started on a budget. Your debt and expenses can feel like vultures circling over your head. You get flustered when another bill comes in the mail. You begin to get frustrated and confused about what to do next. 

To make this process easier, start by writing down all your debts and expenses. You want to write down who you owe money to, the due date, and the amount due on the bill. If you have loans and credit card debt, write the same information on a separate page, including the total amount owed and the interest rates. 

Once you have that information, look at your bank statements for the last three months. Write down how much money was spent on food, eating out, gas, and other expenses for each month. This will show you where your money is going and how to budget for the next month. 

Now, you need to make a list of the income coming into the house. This is one area you need to be raw and honest. Do not add in potential income. You need to write the actual income that you have made in the last three months. Even if it is just your paycheck from work, write it down. 

Now, add up your expenses and bills. Subtract it from the income. Is that number on the positive side? Great. Is that number on the negative side? You have some work to do and sacrifices to make. 

If you need to make some cuts to your budget to make your income bigger than your expenses, there are certainly things you can do:

• Double-check your expenses to make certain you are not paying for the same subscription or service twice. If you are married and each of you has a subscription, combine them so you are not paying for two. 
• Cancel any subscription, streaming, or service that you are not actively using. You can always resubscribe when you are ready to use it again. 
• Sell off anything you are not actively using. That also means cars, trucks, ATVs, boats, and campers. Short-term sacrifices yield long-term results. Use this money to pay down your debt. 
• Stop eating out. Completely. Eating out should be a treat or a special occasion. Not an everyday occurrence. Make your breakfast and coffee at home. Take lunch to work. Make supper at home. I know how busy people can be. I was there once. Use the slow cooker or plan ahead for leftovers to heat up on those busy nights. 
• Stop with the $100+ haircuts, piercings, tattoos, hair coloring, expensive makeup, hair products, clothes shopping, outrageously priced skin products, spray tans, massages, and skin treatments. You need none of those things, and more than likely, you have plenty at home to get you by for a while. 
• Consider a no-buy week, month, or even a year. This gives you a chance to use up what you have and put money back into your budget to pay down your debts. 
• Pick up extra jobs or gigs to make money. Sell things online. Do what you need to do to make extra money. 
• If money is so tight that you cannot figure out a way out, short-term help from government services is sometimes necessary. It can give you the breathing room you need to pay off other debts and get back on your feet. 

You might feel that these are extreme and that you could never give up or sell something. So tell me: is the stress from your finances worth the damage to your relationships and your health? As I was told multiple times growing up, “Suck it up, buttercup.” In other words, it’s time to grow up and be an adult.

You have to take control of your budget now before you get into real trouble. You might already be in real trouble and now you have to make some radical decisions. You could be in collections or even small claims court over your inability to pay back your debts. With collections, you can make a payment plan that works for you. In small claims, you can sometimes set up a payment plan. Sometimes they will garnish your paycheck or put a lien against your bank account. 

If that is the case, hopefully you have your four priorities set. Remember, your priorities are determined by your needs, not your wants. Your budget should reflect that. You may only be to afford those priorities for a few months. 

While I made a monthly budget, I based it on my paycheck schedule. I got paid every two weeks. The first paycheck of the month covered the bills during that period. The second paycheck would cover the bills for that time period. I was fortunate that those bills were roughly the same amount for each pay period. Sometimes I would have to save money from one paycheck to help cover the next paycheck’s budget. 

I found that doing it this way gave me a schedule and the simplicity I needed to make my budget work. You have to find the best way for you and do this in a way that makes sense to you. Trust me, I know the first few months will be hard. Sticking to a budget and having the self-discipline to make it work is possible. You will be better for it in the end. 

Thanks for reading,
Erica

Erica Nygaard writes, lives, and breathes prepping, self-sufficiency, & frugal living. She also likes to point out the ironies of today’s world in various ways and consider the alternatives in life. She has also written two ebooks: The Prepper’s Yearbook and The Dirty Truth About Homesteading. If you would like to support her writing, please consider buying her a coffee. Besides her ebooks (links are on my website), her content is free.

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